Op-Ed: Don't let the Dopes Ruin our Fun

Noel Agnew

With the recent accusations of doping against some of the most beloved players in baseball, it seems like we are never far away from another drugs-in-sport controversy. The prizes for winning are now so great that more and more athletes will do anything – anything – to win. Floyd Landis couldn’t triumph in the Tour de France under his own steam. Justin Gatlin could only equal the world 100m record with a little help from an extra dose of testosterone. Aren’t you suspicious when you watch any sports event these days?

Well there’s a solution, according to the authors of an article in the British Journal of Sports Medicine: why don’t we just have a drug free-for-all and see who comes out on top? (Savulescu J, Foddy B, Clayton M. Why we should allow performance enhancing drugs in sport. Br J Sports Med; 38: 666-670.). The authors claim that this would take the innuendo and uncertainty out of the equation. They go on to boldly proclaim, “Our crusade against drugs in sport has failed. Rather than fearing drugs in sport, we should embrace them”. We’d know everyone was on drugs, they say, the playing field would be level again. Well sorry, but I think that’s just bunkum.

First, sports would turn into a freak show. Power and strength would always win over finesse and skill. Secondly, athletes so desperate to compete at the top level would experiment with new and untested drugs. Many would damage their bodies – some would die. In the 1960s Olympic athletes in East Germany were subjected to a government-sanctioned program of anabolic steroids on grotesquely high levels. Some female athletes were even compelled to change their sex due to the sheer amount of testosterone they had been given. Third, current athletes who shunned the drug culture on grounds of principle would find themselves squeezed out of the pros. And what about the kids aspiring to be the next big thing? They would have to be on the lookout early to find a good pharmacist. Oh yeah – and are you still going to tell them, “Don’t do drugs!” (unless of course they make you run faster, jump higher or swing harder).

Finally, we wouldn’t watch it. We watch athletes because we admire them, identify with their stories, and share their highs and lows in times of glory and defeat. We couldn’t identify with athletes who became great only through what chemical they shot through their veins before they stepped out into the limelight. They wouldn’t be like us any more.

What was the last great sporting moment you saw? Tiger Woods blowing away the field? Inspirational stuff. Roger Federer rewriting the standards of tennis? Truly amazing. What about the Cardinals taking the world series? Completely unpredictable. Now what if I told you they were all doped up? Less human, less fun. Actually…..no fun. noel@brownscapeprod.com

Cartoon copyright John Pritchett