Sudha's Snack : Welcome to the Resolution

By Sudha Narasimhan

So, a new year is upon us.  2008 rhymes with “great”, and I am hopeful that 2008 will be an amazing year.  I want 2008 to be filled with Oprah-style personal changes, soul-affirming experiences, and opportunities pouring into my life like manna from heaven.  Now, the only obstacles are those damn resolutions. Resolutions are like the worst nagging mother, spicy meal, and patch of itchy skin that ever existed all rolled into one.  They get on your nerves- they are always there, lingering and plaguing you with a reminder that they are around and they are not going anywhere until you deal with them, or take some Pepto Bismol at the very least.  Why can’t we just make changes for our lives without the perfunctory New Year Resolution to do it?  Shouldn’t life just be one resolution- to live the best way you can? To me, a resolution is not a chore- it’s a guilt-ridden edict you make for yourself that you must follow, or else you become a victim of your own failure and mediocrity.  Ouch- did I just write that?  I need to get the next train out of Cynicaltown, but before I do, I would love to share with you my Top 10 2008 Resolutions.  Sure, I don’t mind betraying my diatribe for some good fun. And yes, I know I am waxing David Letterman. These are not in any particular order of importance, although I am a personal fan of the first one. 

1. Floss- I keep telling myself I will floss every night.  It only takes 2 damn minutes, but I cannot stand it.  And, I swear I don’t do it just to see my dentist’s disapproving look and her head shaking, as gingivitis invades my gums, and an image of me eating applesauce at 90 enters my brain.

2. Read More Books- All of my friends are voracious readers.  They are always telling me about some great book they read about a mountaineer who escapes death, runs for political office and can make French-inspired food while climbing Mt. Kilamanjaro at the same time.  Hey, it’s awesome to hear such powerful stories about humanity. I just would rather take a nap and succumb to my Travel Channel habit. 

3. Be More Healthy- I love veggies and yoga but chocolate and cheese makes me happy.  Really happy.


4. Be More Happy- please see #3.
   
   
5. Make Amends- I hereby apologize and offer the Olive Branch.
   
   
6. Stop Saying I’m Sorry- I need to stop taking the blame for everything.  Wait, does this contradict # 5?  Oops- see what I mean about resolutions!
   
   
7. Make New Friends- Well, I’m going to need some new friends since #5 didn’t happen due to # 6.
   
   
8. Don’t Procrastinate- This is a good one, and one that ends up on every resolution list I create.  I will work on this, as soon as I can.
   
   
9. Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep- Oh good, now I have more time to do #8.
   
   

10. Live Life Like There Are No Resolutions- Live, Baby, Live as the great INXS once said. I like the sound of that.